Well first I want you to know I tried to schedule a press conference, unfortunately only a few senior centers wanted to carry it. Oh BTW there were a few individuals around the country who did want to see this apology on their TVs. After a little investigation I discovered that these individuals had recently had their cable shut off!
Well anyway to the apology. First of all, these things I am apologizing for are my shortfalls and not that of Hottie, Cujo, my brother Bob or my Dad Bill. These were my indiscretions and not theirs!
I will not put up with the paparazzi (dressed up as one of my neighbors) following Hottie into the SHOWER! Cujo should not be followed around the ranch when she is doing her business.
Again I know that these indiscretions were mine and only mine, I hope one day you can forgive me and look at me again in the light that you once did.
I have already forgiven myself for not interrupting your scheduled programming and letting media idiots such as Katie Couric or any of those bandwagon pom pass news anchors who waste our time completely repeating my apology word for word!
Back to your regular programming!
David Lee
Sinner
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HA! I love it! I think you summed things up perfectly!
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